Control.
It is something many of us spend our lives trying to hold on to.
We try to control our relationships.
We try to control our careers.
We try to control our future.
We try to control the decisions of the people we love.
We try to control the outcome of situations that are completely outside of our hands.
But there comes a time when we have to ask ourselves:
What am I actually in control of?
You are in control of your choices.
You are in control of your decisions.
You are in control of who you allow into your life.
You are in control of the boundaries you create.
You are in control of whether you continue to remain in situations that are hurting you.
Sometimes, we stay in painful relationships because we hope the other person will change.
We wait for them to become the person we need them to be.
We wait for them to finally understand how deeply they have hurt us.
But the truth is, you are not in control of another person’s heart.
You are not in control of their decisions.
You are not in control of their behavior.
You are not in control of whether they choose to love you properly.
And sometimes, the most painful thing we have to accept is that we cannot love someone into becoming a different person.
But you can choose what you will do next.
You can choose to stay.
You can choose to leave.
You can choose to set boundaries.
You can choose to protect your peace.
You can choose to pick yourself back up after someone has hurt you.
You are in control of you.
But control does not always mean doing everything alone.
Sometimes, we have to let go of the belief that we must carry everything by ourselves.
There is strength in admitting that you need help.
There is courage in saying, “I am not okay.”
There is wisdom in accepting help when life becomes too difficult to manage alone.
Sometimes, letting go of control is not giving up.
Sometimes, letting go of control is finally accepting reality.
Because the truth is, life does not always go according to plan.
We may marry believing we have found our lifelong partner, only to find ourselves years later in the middle of a divorce.
We may dedicate ourselves to a career, believing we have found stability, only to be laid off.
We may make plans for our future, only to discover that life has something completely different waiting for us.
We can do everything right and still experience unexpected pain.
That does not mean we failed.
It means we are human.
We are not in control of everything that happens to us.
But we are often in control of what we choose to do next.
We can choose how we respond.
We can choose whether we will seek help.
We can choose whether we will remain stuck in the pain or begin searching for a way forward.
We can choose whether we will allow disappointment to define us.
And sometimes, we have to accept that we were never in control in the first place.
The person who thought they had life completely figured out may discover that they had no idea what the future would bring.
The person who believed they would be married forever may suddenly find themselves starting over.
The person who believed they had job security may suddenly find themselves searching for a new career.
Life can change in ways we never expected.
That is why I believe peace begins with understanding the difference between what we can control and what we cannot.
You cannot control everything that happens to you.
You cannot control the choices of other people.
You cannot control the past.
You cannot control every outcome.
But you can control your next decision.
You can control whether you ask for help.
You can control whether you choose to continue.
You can control whether you choose yourself.
So, do your best with what is in your hands.
Make the best decisions you can with the knowledge you have.
Love people, but understand that you cannot control them.
Make plans, but understand that life may change them.
Work hard, but understand that some outcomes are outside of your control.
And when life takes an unexpected turn, remind yourself:
I may not be in control of everything that happens to me, but I still have a choice in what I do next.
Sometimes, healing begins when we stop fighting to control what we never could control.
Sometimes, peace begins when we finally let go.
And sometimes, the greatest control we can have is the decision to take back control of ourselves.